I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
