It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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