im six kinds of drunk right now
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
