There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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