Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
