careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
