ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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