OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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