It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
