OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
