She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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