I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
