I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
