hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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