we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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