Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
