OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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