im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
