the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
