i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
