All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize