I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
