Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
