White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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