im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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