Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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