Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
