It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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