I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
