Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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