we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize