You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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