If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
