I forgot how hot balto sounded
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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