I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
