After last night, I could never be a politician.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.