Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.