who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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