I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think people are normalizing furries
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
