I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
