I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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