Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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