Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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