if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
