Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize