just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
