i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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