he told me I talked like a deaf person
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
