1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
