We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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