I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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