someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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