So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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