Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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