I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
