the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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