I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
