it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
