Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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