break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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