Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
