i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
