what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
