Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
