i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
